My brother and I were truly blessed to be born into such a loving family. Dad’s example was of one who earned respect by his actions; He was far from wealthy by monetary standards, yet always did what he could for others, though few would ever know. Dad always stood up for what was right, and I admired this quality greatly in him. At one point, I began thinking about how much my dad had done for us over the years and what I knew of his efforts for others. I started realizing how little I had been there for Dad when I was in my prime and became wrapped up in my own” wants” in life, how I seldom made time to help Dad accomplish things in his life that I knew he could use and would like help with. Dad, on the other hand, always made time for my brother or me if he knew we needed help. Sure, I helped occasionally, but only at “my convenience.” When there were no parties to attend, tennis to be played, movies, etc. Or, if Dad’s problem became urgent enough that he called for immediate help, then I would step to the plate. As I reflect on these years, I realize that by not reciprocating his love with proactive action of my own, I shortchanged both of us.
So, around 2013, I approached my wife and said, “Dad is getting older; I don’t know how much more time he has, but I’d like to start going to Dad’s at least once a month to spend the day and see what projects I can help him with.” She encouraged me. I began sporadically, not monthly as intended, but eventually began going out one day each week. Later, Dad was diagnosed as having” dementia with Lewy bodies.” As this worsened, my visits became twofold: to watch him and accomplish projects he liked seeing done.
During our project breaks, Dad and I had many conversations sitting in the yard, sharing and rehashing stories of family, friends, and the past. I’m grateful I was able to make a difference in these later years and help him accomplish tasks he had long wanted to do. Not everyone can give a day a week, but most can give more than they do, even if it is just a phone call. For me, I discovered the best gift we can give our loved ones on any day is the gift of our time. Dad died in Nov. 2019.
I will forever be grateful that I prioritized my time when I did, as these years of weekly visits are now cherished memories, logged as quality time my dad appreciated greatly. As the disease worsened, my presence also helped relieve my brother and his family on those days, as they were Dad’s primary caretakers. So, I leave you with these thoughts on time: Time spent making a gift, sending a card, visiting, helping, or just making a phone call is time treasured.
When I reread my words above, I can’t help but notice the similarities between how often our Heavenly Father is treated in the same way I once treated my father – At our convenience.
Never give up on doing good! Galatians 6:9
God First!
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