Advocate for Christ

The best life is a God First life

Category: Marriage

The Best Part of our Story

February 16, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I don’t like giving “Off-the-cuff” answers to questions, as my response often seems inadequate; I prefer to think before responding, but sometimes we must.

Case in point-
At a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, in 2024, a young man asked:

“What do you think is the best part of being married for so long?” (We must have really looked old to him) We had just met the lad about 90 minutes earlier when Virginia and I were at a restaurant reviewing the menu, trying to decide whether to stay or leave.

As mentioned, it was Valentine’s Day and our Anniversary.
The evening was not unfolding as I had planned. I had intended to have an early dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, but we got a late start. The restaurant’s website indicated they were NOT booking reservations, so I assumed “first-come, first-served,” but when we arrived, I saw the dreaded sign at the doorway: “Call for reservations.” It was about 5:30 PM; the place was almost empty, but they would not seat us. This plight pressured me to find someplace quickly; Virginia was hungry, and I still hoped to beat the main crowd. We found a restaurant we had never tried. It was not fancy nor the type of food we typically eat; In fact, it was entirely out of the norm for us.

It was a family-style Cuban Restaurant called Papis. We entered and talked with a young man behind the counter. We mentioned it was our Anniversary, looked at the menu, got his recommendations, and decided to stay. They sat us in a quiet booth where we enjoyed some flavorful dishes. Although we were apprehensive at first, stepping outside our norm made the evening even more enjoyable and memorable by night’s end. We showed our waitress a FB picture I’d recently posted of us over the years. Then, before we left, she presented us with a complimentary dessert, one of our favorites, “Flan.” As we were leaving, Virginia went to the ladies’ room as I waited at the counter. I thanked the young man for his food suggestions and began a casual conversation when he asked:

“What do you think is the best part of being married for so long?”

I was not prepared for that question. I thought briefly, looking for a quick answer, and said: Contentment – We are both very content with each other now. A moment later, I added: When you’re as young as you are, jealousies and things like that often get in the way, but with a good wife, you don’t have to worry about that.
Shortly after that response, I finally hit the nail on the head and stated:

“But actually, the best part was when we decided to include God in our lives and live that type of lifestyle.” The young man acknowledged my final answer and said, “Really?” Yes, Really!

Putting God first is by far the best thing we ever did for our marriage.

The young man then thanked me and said, “I really appreciate it!”

I wish my last response had been my first, so I could have expanded on it, as choosing to make God’s Word “The Standard” for our lifestyle has indeed been the most important decision Virginia and I ever made in our marriage. I could expand for hours on all the facets of why our marriage is strong, but the bottom line is that the decision to put God First has been the best part of our story by far!

  • Matthew 5:6
  • Acts 5:29
  • Proverbs 16:3
  • Matthew 6:24
  • Galatians 2:20
  • Galatians 6:9-10
  • 2 Corinthians 8:6
  • Acts 10:35
  • Matthew 13:44-46
  • Proverbs 3:5-6
  • Proverbs 19:14
  • Proverbs 31:10
  • Ephesians 5:44-33

God First!

Shouting from the rooftops

Shouting from the rooftops!

February 10, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I will never regret doing so; in fact, I cherish having expressed my love both privately and publicly. One close to me teased that I was making other men look bad by posting this mushy stuff. In teasing, they said, “I told my wife when we got married that I loved her; if anything changes, I’ll let her know.

However, in my mind, this occasional public display of affection may have been slightly embarrassing for both of us, but I treasured her smiles and appreciation of my efforts more than what people might think, and shouted our love from the rooftops of social media.

Our Anniversary is approaching this coming Saturday, Feb 14th. I will probably remind her of the day’s significance, get her some flowers, a card, and some chocolates to enjoy. I will probably write and share something on that day, then read it to her, and she will enjoy all these efforts only in the moment.

Not everyone needs to write the mushy stuff or shout it from the rooftops, but while our loved ones are still here in mind and body, whether spouses, parents, grandparents, etc. It’s a valuable time we each have to lift up our loved ones in praise and love.

It’s been 10 years now since I wrote the following and posted it on Facebook. This was pre-Alzheimer’s, and Virginia loved and appreciated it.

“Your smile is my sunshine

Your voice is my song

Your mind intrigues me and baffles me some

Your laughter, my ocean

Your eyes are my stars

Your love is my heartbeat and a gift from above.

I love you, babe, and don’t mind shouting it from the rooftops of Facebook.

Oh… and happy Valentine’s Day, Wayne.”

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Romans 12:10

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”  – 1 John 3:18

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. – Philippians 2:3

Ephesians 5:25, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 John 4:19,

God First!

The 20-year battle within – Part 2

February 6, 2026 / / 0 Comments

We have now been together for 41 years, not long after we married on Feb 14th 2003, I told Virginia I wanted to go back to Church. This literally scared her, and she bawled. In her mind, my desire equated to me not thinking she was good enough. I assured her this was not the case. When I attended, I would arrive late for Worship and leave immediately. I thought that if people got to know too much about my life, they would try to change it, so I stayed very private at first. However, I remained consistent in my efforts to attend and learn, and eventually began attending all the Bible classes and evening services.
I was also a friend of Jimmy Miller, the minister at the time, whom I had known when I was a faithful teenager, so at that time, I mostly only talked with Jimmy.

Though we had corrected the marital part of our lives, there were other parts of my life that, in light of God’s Word, I thought conflicted with a selfless pursuit of following Christ; however, as my faith and understanding grew through study and application, so did my desire and efforts to address or replace those issues with better choices and habits as well.

Although few knew of my past at the time, I decided to repent publicly and move forward, asking the Church for forgiveness for those wayward years. As I attended, I would invite my wife, but only occasionally, as doing so constantly would irritate her. One Sunday morning, Virginia said yes and went with me. She then began attending with me sporadically, but over time, she came with me to every service and Bible study. Jimmy had some one-on-one Bible studies with us, and Virginia concluded she needed to be baptized into Christ.

My wife had been raised Catholic; she had adopted atheism from her previous husband, who was killed in a motorcycle accident, and on March 23, 2010, about 7 years after our marriage, she was immersed in the waters of baptism for the forgiveness of her sins and became a disciple of Christ, a Christian. During her immersion, it was noticed that her elbow did not go underwater, so they baptized her twice. I then teased her that her sins were so bad she had to be double dunked. 🙂 There is nothing that could make me waver again!

I pray that anyone reading this who may be in a similar situation will begin now, set it right, and never waver again. It’s comforting to have certainty in our souls’ condition, knowing we will spend eternity with Jesus. 1 John 5:13

  • God’s Grace: Ephesians 2:8, Romans 3:24, Titus 2:11, Acts 15:11
  • Hearing the Gospel:– Romans 10:17, John 8:32
  • Belief/Faith: – Hebrews 11:1, John 8:24, Romans 10:17, Acts 3:19
  • Repentance of sin: – 2 Cor. 7:9-10, Luke 13:3-5, Acts 17:30
  • Confess Christ: – Romans 10:9-10, Matthew 10:32-33, Luke 12:8-9
  • Baptism by immersion for forgiveness of sin: – Matthew 16:15-16, 1 Peter 3:21, Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16, John 3:5, Matthew 28:18-20, Ephesians 4:5, Romans 6:3-4, Colossians 2:12, Acts 8:36-39, Mark 1:9-10, John 3:23

God First!

The 20-year battle within – Part 1

February 5, 2026 / / 0 Comments


“I really need to go back to church,” I carried this thought in my mind for over 20 years; however, after my first marriage failed, I made destructive choices, destructive to my soul and my example to others. Choices that pulled me away from the teachings of God’s word. I met the woman who would one day become my wife, and though we were not yet married, we moved in together with my three-year-old son, who was in my custody.

I knew enough of God’s Word to recognize my choice was wrong, but I ignored God and spent the next 20 years living in direct opposition to Christ’s teaching. Arrogantly and foolishly thinking that if I died, I could claim ignorance, or use the perceived loophole of justification, that since we had the commitment of marriage, we didn’t need the paper. In my arrogance, I thought that if I came before Christ at Judgment, I’d be able to explain the circumstances that led to my situation, and Jesus would make an exception for me and respond: Oh, that makes sense and not hold me eternally accountable, yet Scripture points out that Jesus will and must treat everyone equally. “Peter opened his mouth and said: “Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.” Acts 10:34-35.

I was not doing what I knew was right, and by following my own desires, I was dismissing God’s Word, which means I was dismissing God.

There are no words to truly express how sorrowful I am today for these ungodly decisions, and my example during those years, nor for how grateful I am that I lived through them to the point of correction and repentance.

During this time, I deliberately stopped laying claim to the name “Christian” or attending services, thinking that my absence somehow made me less of a hypocrite. I look at these words now and think HOW SAD, how could I have been so foolish? I then avoided Christian friends, influences that might prompt my repentance or lead to any conversation about my salvation. By doing so, I ignored everything I knew to be true about my soul’s condition. I even prayed occasionally that it would not take a major heartache to prompt my return home, thinking I would set things right. However, if I had lost my life during those years, Jesus would have had no choice but to say, “‘I never knew you; depart from me, you worker of lawlessness.’ See Matt 7:21-23

Although I thought, in those early years, that I had faith and believed, my understanding was built on sand; I was no better than the demons mentioned in James 2:19, who believed and feared.

Had I truly understood, as I do today, the gravity of my decisions and the destructive power of my example, I would never have allowed myself that first inch into such a lost position so far away from hope.

Jesus’s message of love and forgiveness does not grant me special privileges in the name of forgiveness. I had no right to ignore His teachings and live as I wanted. Those commands, those teachings we find in Scripture, are there for a reason. I thought I knew God’s Word, but after I returned to the fold, I attended every class I could and discovered how little I truly understood.

I pray that anyone reading this who may be in a similar situation will begin immediately, set it right, and never waver again. It’s comforting to have certainty in our souls’ condition, knowing we will spend eternity with Jesus. 1 John 5:13

Acts 3:17-19, James 4:17, 1 Corinthians 10:11, Matthew 12:36, Acts 2:38, Luke 13:3, 2 Peter 3:9, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Ephesians 5:5, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 6:9, Matthew 15:19

God First!

The Crux of God’s Forgiveness is our Repentance

January 28, 2026 / / 0 Comments

In my writing, I’ve been known to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life at times. I do this in hopes of encouraging others to seek their answers where I found mine, in the knowledge of Scripture.  This knowledge helps us realize that if we follow Jesus according to His will, not ours, we will come to experience peace far beyond our own understanding. Our lives have many Satan-crafted pitfalls designed to inch us away from our Creator and towards a valley of eternal death.

As a young man, I was baptized into Christ for the forgiveness of my sins and lived faithfully for many years. Faithfulness does not mean being without sin; rather, it means making every effort to pursue righteousness by following Jesus’ teachings and keeping His commandments. Sometimes we fail; however, if we know Scripture, it helps us recognize our failures, return to our creator, repent of our sins, and ask for forgiveness. Since we know from scripture that baptized believers are in Christ, God will forgive us when we repent.

The crux of God’s forgiveness is our repentance.

To truly repent of sin is to turn away from those sins as we experience Godly Sorrow, dedicating ourselves from that point to the correction of our lives using the Word of God as our foundation. Scripture defines Godly Sorrow this way: “For Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

With Godly grief, we repent of sinful ways; this means we change direction and stop indulging in those temptations that go against God’s Holy Word. Scripture lets us know that baptized believers who choose to indulge and continue doing what we know to be wrong are crucifying Christ once again.

 “For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.  For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them.” 2 Peter 2:20-21

also see: Hebrews 6:4-6, James 5:19-20, Hebrews 10:26-27

Although a baptized believer, I ended up spending 20 years with my soul in a lost condition as I had succumbed to a series of temptations and pitfalls designed by Satan.

I thought my faith was strong, but my decisions after a failed marriage proved my knowledge was weak, and my commitment shaken.  I allowed myself, inch by inch, to pursue worldly desires over following Jesus. These infractions stacked and built to the point that during those 20 years, I feared correction could jeopardize my adopted lifestyle and possibly put my relationship at risk.

I was, however, acutely aware that my choices had me living in sin. This bothered me. Satan had successfully painted me into a corner, forcing me to choose between following Jesus according to His will or losing my soul.

Indeed, as scripture states, I was crucifying Christ to myself. Years I can’t get back, a bad example to family and friends that can’t be unset, where soul-risking damage was done. Today, I draw on those years as fuel for my efforts to never give up on encouraging others to grow in Christ, and I often pray that, if they won’t listen to me, God will put people in their lives they might.  I cannot imagine ever allowing Satan to turn me away from God again.

I pray that if you’re reading this and reflecting on your own life, you find yourself right with God; but if not, I pray you will experience godly grief that produces repentance that leads to salvation without regret, rather than worldly grief that produces death.

God First, forever and ever, Amen!

If you’re not yet in Christ as a baptized believer:

  • God’s Grace: Ephesians 2:8, Romans 3:24, Titus 2:11, Acts 15:11
  • Hearing the Gospel:– Romans 10:17, John 8:32
  • Belief/Faith: – Hebrews 11:1, John 8:24, Romans 10:17, Acts 3:19
  • Repentance of sin: – 2 Cor. 7:9-10, Luke 13:3-5, Acts 17:30
  • Confess Christ: – Romans 10:9-10, Matthew 10:32-33, Luke 12:8-9
  • Baptism by immersion for forgiveness of sin: – Matthew 16:15-16, 1 Peter 3:21, Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16, John 3:5, Matthew 28:18-20, Ephesians 4:5, Romans 6:3-4, Colossians 2:12, Acts 8:36-39, Mark 1:9-10, John 3:23

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