The best life is a God First life

Category: Wife

Alzheimer’s and change

The point to the attached meme is not lost on me. However, I have also discovered that things may not be what they seem on the surface. My wife once had issues with her “pew seat” as her Alzheimer’s progressed. You see, for such patients, small changes can be big issues; even a simple change, like having to sit in a different location, can be a problem as they are losing their ability to understand the change.

This was during an earlier period of the disease; where she would sometimes say loudly, “They’re sitting in our seat or some other irritated remark, and she would sometimes become discombobulated when she couldn’t find and sit in her usual seat. I would then try to get her to understand it’s not a big deal and sit elsewhere with her.

Alzheimer’s or other dementia-type diseases don’t always stand out in appearance. For a very long time, people would talk to my wife occasionally and have no idea she was on this downward journey.

My reason for addressing the message behind this meme is to draw attention to the possibility that, before we assume rudeness is intentional or unchristian-like, maybe we should consider that there may be more to the situation than we see on the surface. Maybe it would help to assume there is such an issue and draw on our compassion rather than frustration or judgment in such a situation. I’m sure that if a Christian knows there’s a reason like this behind someone’s attitude, they would be more than happy to accommodate them.

Today, because of the progression of this disease, that issue is gone as we are not able to attend services as we used to.

I hate Alzheimer’s

  • Colossians 3:12
  • 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

God First!

The Best Part of our Story

I don’t like giving “Off-the-cuff” answers to questions, as my response often seems inadequate; I prefer to think before responding, but sometimes we must.

Case in point-
At a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, in 2024, a young man asked:

What do you think is the best part of being married for so long? (We must have really looked old to him) We had just met the lad about 90 minutes earlier when Virginia and I were at a restaurant reviewing the menu, trying to decide whether to stay or leave.

As mentioned, it was Valentine’s Day and our Anniversary.
The evening was not unfolding as I had planned. I had intended to have an early dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, but we got a late start. The restaurant’s website indicated they were NOT booking reservations, so I assumed “first-come, first-served,” but when we arrived, I saw the dreaded sign at the doorway: “Call for reservations.” It was about 5:30 PM; the place was almost empty, but they would not seat us. This plight pressured me to find someplace quickly; Virginia was hungry, and I still hoped to beat the main crowd. We found a restaurant we had never tried. It was not fancy nor the type of food we typically eat; In fact, it was entirely out of the norm for us.

It was a family-style Cuban Restaurant called Papis. We entered and talked with a young man behind the counter. We mentioned it was our Anniversary, looked at the menu, got his recommendations, and decided to stay. They sat us in a quiet booth where we enjoyed some flavorful dishes. Although we were apprehensive at first, stepping outside our norm made the evening even more enjoyable and memorable by night’s end. We showed our waitress a FB picture I’d recently posted of us over the years. Then, before we left, she presented us with a complimentary dessert, one of our favorites, “Flan.” As we were leaving, Virginia went to the ladies’ room as I waited at the counter. I thanked the young man for his food suggestions and began a casual conversation when he asked:

“What do you think is the best part of being married for so long?”

I was not prepared for that question. I thought briefly, looking for a quick answer, and said: Contentment – We are both very content with each other now. A moment later, I added: When you’re as young as you are, jealousies and things like that often get in the way, but with a good wife, you don’t have to worry about that.
Shortly after that response, I finally hit the nail on the head and stated:

“But actually, the best part was when we decided to include God in our lives and live that type of lifestyle.” The young man acknowledged my final answer and said, “Really?” Yes, Really!

Putting God first is by far the best thing we ever did for our marriage.

The young man then thanked me and said, “I really appreciate it!”

I wish my last response had been my first, so I could have expanded on it, as choosing to make God’s Word “The Standard” for our lifestyle has indeed been the most important decision Virginia and I ever made in our marriage. I could expand for hours on all the facets of why our marriage is strong, but the bottom line is that the decision to put God First has been the best part of our story by far!

  • Matthew 5:6
  • Acts 5:29
  • Proverbs 16:3
  • Matthew 6:24
  • Galatians 2:20
  • Galatians 6:9-10
  • 2 Corinthians 8:6
  • Acts 10:35
  • Matthew 13:44-46
  • Proverbs 3:5-6
  • Proverbs 19:14
  • Proverbs 31:10
  • Ephesians 5:44-33

God First!

Shouting from the rooftops!

I will never regret doing so; in fact, I cherish having expressed my love both privately and publicly. One close to me teased that I was making other men look bad by posting this mushy stuff. In teasing, they said, “I told my wife when we got married that I loved her; if anything changes, I’ll let her know.

However, in my mind, this occasional public display of affection may have been slightly embarrassing for both of us, but I treasured her smiles and appreciation of my efforts more than what people might think, and shouted our love from the rooftops of social media.

Our Anniversary is approaching this coming Saturday, Feb 14th. I will probably remind her of the day’s significance, get her some flowers, a card, and some chocolates to enjoy. I will probably write and share something on that day, then read it to her, and she will enjoy all these efforts only in the moment.

Not everyone needs to write the mushy stuff or shout it from the rooftops, but while our loved ones are still here in mind and body, whether spouses, parents, grandparents, etc. It’s a valuable time we each have to lift up our loved ones in praise and love.

It’s been 10 years now since I wrote the following and posted it on Facebook. This was pre-Alzheimer’s, and Virginia loved and appreciated it.

“Your smile is my sunshine

Your voice is my song

Your mind intrigues me and baffles me some

Your laughter, my ocean

Your eyes are my stars

Your love is my heartbeat and a gift from above.

I love you, babe, and don’t mind shouting it from the rooftops of Facebook.

Oh… and happy Valentine’s Day, Wayne.”

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Romans 12:10

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”  – 1 John 3:18

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

Ephesians 5:25, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 John 4:19,

God First!

The 20-year battle within – Part 2

We have now been together for 41 years, not long after we married on Feb 14th 2003, I told Virginia I wanted to go back to Church. This literally scared her, and she bawled. In her mind, my desire equated to me not thinking she was good enough. I assured her this was not the case. When I attended, I would arrive late for Worship and leave immediately. I thought that if people got to know too much about my life, they would try to change it, so I stayed very private at first. However, I remained consistent in my efforts to attend and learn, and eventually began attending all the Bible classes and evening services.
I was also a friend of Jimmy Miller, the minister at the time, whom I had known when I was a faithful teenager, so at that time, I mostly only talked with Jimmy.

Though we had corrected the marital part of our lives, there were other parts of my life that, in light of God’s Word, I thought conflicted with a selfless pursuit of following Christ; however, as my faith and understanding grew through study and application, so did my desire and efforts to address or replace those issues with better choices and habits as well.

Although few knew of my past at the time, I decided to repent publicly and move forward, asking the Church for forgiveness for those wayward years. As I attended, I would invite my wife, but only occasionally, as doing so constantly would irritate her. One Sunday morning, Virginia said yes and went with me. She then began attending with me sporadically, but over time, she came with me to every service and Bible study. Jimmy had some one-on-one Bible studies with us, and Virginia concluded she needed to be baptized into Christ.

My wife had been raised Catholic; she had adopted atheism from her previous husband, who was killed in a motorcycle accident, and on March 23, 2010, about 7 years after our marriage, she was immersed in the waters of baptism for the forgiveness of her sins and became a disciple of Christ, a Christian. During her immersion, it was noticed that her elbow did not go underwater, so they baptized her twice. I then teased her that her sins were so bad she had to be double dunked. 🙂 There is nothing that could make me waver again!

I pray that anyone reading this who may be in a similar situation will begin now, set it right, and never waver again. It’s comforting to have certainty in our souls’ condition, knowing we will spend eternity with Jesus. 1 John 5:13

  • God’s Grace: Ephesians 2:8, Romans 3:24, Titus 2:11, Acts 15:11
  • Hearing the Gospel:– Romans 10:17, John 8:32
  • Belief/Faith: – Hebrews 11:1, John 8:24, Romans 10:17, Acts 3:19
  • Repentance of sin: – 2 Cor. 7:9-10, Luke 13:3-5, Acts 17:30
  • Confess Christ: – Romans 10:9-10, Matthew 10:32-33, Luke 12:8-9
  • Baptism by immersion for forgiveness of sin: – Matthew 16:15-16, 1 Peter 3:21, Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16, John 3:5, Matthew 28:18-20, Ephesians 4:5, Romans 6:3-4, Colossians 2:12, Acts 8:36-39, Mark 1:9-10, John 3:23

God First!

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